


Miscarriage

by Inkdreamer



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Love, Men Crying, Miscarriage, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:07:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21737335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkdreamer/pseuds/Inkdreamer
Summary: When he received the message he felt his heart break. He felt like he couldn't breathe, wanted to scream and cry and yet he had never felt so beaten like he did in this moment. But there was no time to digest the message. He had to get home. To her. So he made his mountain goat run faster with tears in his eyes!TW! Miscarriage
Relationships: Fíli (Tolkien)/Sigrid (Hobbit Movies)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 46





	Miscarriage

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: i do not own the hobbit (obviously)

When he received the message he felt his heart break. He felt like he couldn't breathe, wanted to scream and cry and yet he had never felt so beaten like he did in this moment. But there was no time to digest the message. He had to get home. To her. So he made his mountain goat run faster with tears in his eyes. 

When they reached the mountain it was quiet. Way too quiet. Whereever he walked the little talks people had been having stopped, he was met with compassionate faces, dwarves came to him to pat him on the shoulder and say comforting words... he didn't listen to them. He just pushed his way through the crowd to the royal family's quaters. 

He burst through the heavy oaken doors of his mother's sitting room. It was usually where she was to be found, Dís had accepted Bard's children like they were her own.

They were all there, Bard, holding Tilda close on the sofa, Bain sitting in a corner of the room, trying to be strong and hold back his tears, Kíli staring into the fire, Dís next to him, Thorin and Balin standing in front of the window... Sigrid was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is she?" He asked. 

Kíli jumped. "Fíli! We've been waiting for you-" 

"Where is she?" He insisted. 

"In your bedroom, laddie", Balin sighed. 

Fíli nodded and turned to leave, but a heavy hand on his shoulder held him back. When he turned around he was met by the soft but sad look in his uncles eyes. 

"Sisterson." "What?" Fíli growled bluntly. Why was Thorin holding him back, he needed to go see her! 

Balin appeared next to them. "It's just that she is really bad, lad-" 

"Well of course she is! She lost her child after all!" Our child, he thought.

The old dwarf sighed. "I know, but we just want to prepare you. She hasn't spoken a word since the miscarriage, she barely eats, only when you really push her to, she hasn't gotten out of bed, although the healers say she should slowly have started to recover by now,..." 

Fíli frowned. Balin could hardly expect her to be perfectly fine again within a few hours. 

"She's grieving, of course she is, but it looks like the whole thing has taken her live too and not just the child's... she hasn't done anything but stare out of the window and cry in days-" 

Fíli's head snapped up. "Days?" He asked sharply. "What do you mean, days? When was the miscarriage?" 

Balin frowned. "Six days ago, wh-"

"SIX DAYS?!" He glared at his uncle. "AND NO ONE THOUGHT TO INFORM ME?!" 

Thorin simply looked at him. How could he be so calm? "You were busy with the diplomatic mission and couldn't have made it in time anyway-" 

"DIPLOMATIC MISSION? IS THAT MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY WIFE LOSING MY UNBORN CHILD? I COULD HAVE MADE IT HERE IN A DAY, I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE FOR HER! SHOULD HAVE BEEN! BUT YOU-"

Tilda's soft whimpers made him stop. He glanzed over Thorin's shoulder. Bard was looking at him, nothing but understanding in his eyes, while the girl's face was buried in her father's side. Fíli felt a stab of guilt but still couldn't help but be angry at Thorin. Actually, angry was a huge understatement, he was furious! 

He took a deep breath in order to calm down. 

"I'm going to her", he simply said before he left the room.

~

The bedroom was quiet. The curtains were open, but the light was dimmed by a plain black silk scarf which had been hung in front of the window. There was an untoutched tray of food at the end of the bed and worn shifts carelessly thrown on the floor. Fíli took a moment to take in the sight and sighed as he quietly closed the door behind him before he walked over to the bed. 

She was lying under the blanket with her back turned to him. He kicked his heavy leather boots off and climbed into the bed. Careful to not startle her he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. 

"Hello, love" he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. 

"You're back." Oh, Mahal, her voice was so small it set him even more on edge. "I've missed you." 

"I've missed you too. I'm so sorry I didn't come home earlier, if I had known-" 

She closed her eyes and shook her head. Fíli sighed.  
"I love you. You know that, right?" 

She didn't answer. A single tear ran down her cheek.  
Fíli frowned. The way she was flinching at his words was not right. She acted like she didn't deserve his love, like it made the pain worse. 

"Sigrid?" 

"I'm so sorry! I'm so... I lost him, Fíli. It was a boy, we would have had a son and I lost him..." 

"It's not your fault" he said firmly. 

"But I lost him... " 

"It's not your fault, do you hear me? You have no reason to blame yourself." 

A desperate sob escaped her. "What kind of a mother am I when I can't even keep my unborn child safe?" She began to whimper.  
Fili sat up and began gently rocking her from side to side. She clung onto him and cried into the thick fabric of his shift. "Sshhhh... dearest..." Fíli felt tears burn in the back of his eyes. It had taken so long for her to finally get pregnant and now their Baby was dead. A son. He held onto her more tightly and buried his face in her hair, letting his own tears fall. They sat there like that for a long time, entwined in each others arms, crying over the loss of their first child. 

Somehow Fíli seemed to give her the strength she needed, so when she stopped sobbing after a while she sat up to hold him in her arms. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and cried. He breathed in her scent, holding on to her so desperately he almost crushed her. "I love you" he sobbed "I love you so much, please,... please don't make me lose you too..."  
She shook her head. "You won't lose me. And I love you, too." Her words were disturbed by adorable little hiccups that made Fíli laugh and hold her even closer. He felt her comb her fingers through his hair and press little kisses to the side of his face. It was so soothing that he almost fell asleep in her arms.

"I love you" he mumbled against her skin again. 

She hummed contented. "I love you, too." 

He slowly drew away and put his forehead against hers. He looked up into her beautiful eyes. Grey-green with golden dots. They were still sad, just like he still felt the pain himself, but there was also hope in them. 

"I was afraid you would be angry" she said. 

He shook his head. "How could I?" 

She lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have underestimated your manners..." 

"It has nothing to do with manners. And you should stop apologizing for things you don't have to be sorry for. You are going be a wonderful mother one day, I promise. I know!" 

p>She mustered a watery smile. "Thank you."

His lips met hers in a long deep kiss. She sighed. His hands toutched her cheeks and gently stroked her skin. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Oh, he had missed her so much. It wasn't like their usual kisses. Passionate, but not lusty. They were desperate for each other in another way.

When they broke apart they were panting hard. "I love you" she breathed. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair was a mess and her eyes were bright - Mahal she was beautiful! Had she not just had a miscarriage he would have had her right there and then. 

But he restrained himself. "I love you, too" he answered before they drew in for another kiss, this one so chaste and tender that he felt like melting against her lips. When they broke apart they stayed close, foreheads lightly pressed together. She sighed. "You must be tired" she whispered. He nodded. "So do you."  
She hummed something incomprehensible he took as a "yes". 

They laid back down together, cuddling close. She wrapped an arm around his torso and rested her head on his chest, close to his heart. He buried his nose in her hair and pulled her close. 

It didn't take long for them to fall asleep like that, listening to each other's calm breaths. 

The next morning the sun was shining.


End file.
